yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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