Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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