At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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