only if we run a train.
done.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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