Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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