Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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