My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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