You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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