am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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