I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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