Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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