I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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