Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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