I wish I could teleport
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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