i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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