i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize