i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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