If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize