I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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