I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize