we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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