Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
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DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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