I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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