i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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