don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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