The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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