But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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