i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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