Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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