would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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