i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize