i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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