hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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