1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize