Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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