I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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