I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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