the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize