a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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