I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize