Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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