He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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