4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize