I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize