DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We are two peas in an std pod
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize