I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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