woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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