I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My cat gives me a boner
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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