cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize