I am puke
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize